Each of us has our own version of love..
And every version is virtual..might be a shadow..
Perhaps what God loves us is true love..
And all other are its virtual copies..
Like the distributed shared memory..where no data actually exists on machines...
Whatever we see, feel, know is virtual..but very true at that moment...

Who knows!!!

I guess only Paulo Coelho had his Zahir. 
Is this because The Zahir has to have a happy, full-filling end??
What if Esthar would have left the village when she came to know that he is coming there...?
What if she had said that she still loves Dos and wants to live with him...?
What if the narrator had to leave empty-handed with his heart full of pain flowing through his eyes....??

Who knows!!

Sitting in lecture and getting bored..
And suddenly a cool breeze touches my cheeks and I feel refreshed...
I see through the glass window beside me...
Its not too hot or too cold..
Birds are chirping on the banyan tree
Purple mountains are shining with golden sun rays..
A bunch of small, white houses with brick-red roofs..surrounded by lush green trees..
Roads are quiet and the weather is lovely..

Such a scenic and pleasant view..
I wish I could be a painter who would create the same magic with strokes of brush..for a picture is worth a thousand words..
But I am not..so I tried to capture that serenity in words... :)

I want to cut myself one day..
No..not suicide..
I wanna see what flows through my veins..
And what happens  to ME (not my body but ME) if I cut a couple of them..
I might see my pains outside of me..or I might feel them till the depth if my heart..
I want to see whether I scream out loud or I sit quietly staring at the bloody knife..

And last but not the least, I want to see if someone understands that I am a human with heart and blood and not an obedient robot..

I was sad..
Then too and now too..
Sometimes it happens that we don't feel pain..
Doesn't mean its not there..
Its there itself but hasn't yet come on the surface..
Days pass..sun rises and dusk falls..
I don't feel anything..
I am a robot..
The cycle of dawn and dusk continues..
And one day, I see the sunset form the balcony of my study..
I keep looking at it wondering what I was doing for so many days..
The coffee in the mug turns cold and tasteless..
Slowly and steadily the sorrows come on the surface..
My lips are dry and rough for I haven't drunk water in hours..
I am seeing a tiny ivory crescent in greyish blue sky..
And suddenly I feel tears falling on my cheeks and their salty taste as they tough my lips..
I drink them up as if I am burring the sorrow in my belly..
My eyes are heavy and eyelids swollen..
Hunger pangs..and I walk downstairs for dinner..

I wish you were here to wipe away my tears..like you always did.... 

You know what I think about love..
Its like that bright, twinkling star in the dark sky..right above my head..
Thousands of light years away from me..
So close yet so far..
I spend nights gazing at it..shivering in cold..wondering about its light..dreaming about its warmth..
But..but..it would take me ages to get there..centuries to feel its light..
And I spend nights staring at the star..
I wish I could know what it takes to reach the star..

Writing here and praying for a shooting star...so that I could make a wish...
And I would get you... :)